Meet My Mom

From the files of Kathy......

"OKAY THAT A GOOD ONE,
BUT HERE IS MY REAL STORY. MY CAR WAS GETTING A NEW ENGINE AND IT HAD BEEN IN THE SHOP FOR WEEKS, SO I HAD BEEN BORROWING VARIOUS EXTRA CARS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS.WELL I WAS WALKING OUT OF THE GROCERY STORE AND I KINDA FLET LIKE THIS GUY WAS WATCHING ME I JUST KNEW HE WAS A RAPIST-SERIAL KILLER-SEX OFFENDER. SO I TRIED TO HURRY TO MY CAR OF THE DAY ,A BORROWED BLUE GEO PRISM. I QUICKLY GOT IN THREW MY GROCERIES IN THE BACK AND WANTED TO LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.BUT IT WAS MY FATHERS CAR AND HIS RING LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE A JANITORS AND I HAD A HARD TIME FINDING THE IGNITION KEY.
MEANWHILE THE WOULD BE RAPIST-SERIAL KILLER-SEX OFFENDER WAS WALKING TO MY CAR AND PANICK SANK IN. I LOCKED THE DOOR AND OF COURSE DID WHAT ANYONE ELSE WOULD DO IN THAT SITUATION PUT MY HEAD BETWEEN MY KNEES AND PRAYED HE WOULD GO AWAY. OF COURSE HE DID NOT. AS HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR OF MY CAR WATCHING ME WITH MY HAND ABOVE MY HEAD STILL TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT KEY AND MY HEAD BETWEEN MY LEGS, I MUTTERED NERVOUSLY WHAT DO YOU WANT??

HE REPLIED YOU ARE IN MY CAR. NOW WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO SAY, EXCUSE ME YOUR NOT A RAPIST-SERIAL KILLER-SEX OFFENDER? THEN HE ASKED IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG. WELL WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO SAY? QUICKLY I EXPLAINED I HAD A LOST A CONTACT AND I HAD GOTTON HIS BLUE HONDA WHICH LOOKED NOTHING LIKE MY DADS PRISM MISTAKEN.

SO HE HELPED ME LOAD THE GROCERIES INTO MY DADS CAR AND THEN RETURNED WITH ME TO HIS HONDA AND FELT THE FLOOR FOR A HALF HOUR OR SO FOR MY NON EXISTANT CONTANT. PRETTY NICE FOR A RAPIST-SERIAL KILLER-SEX OFFENDER DRIVING A FORIEGN CAR WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

Kathy"